Recently I have been feeling quite good about things. I know Adam & I will never get back together and I never expected us to. I was taking it day by day and each day seemed to get easier to let go of what I had and enjoy what I still have looking orward to the future.
I felt good until I received a phone call from my boss on Monday (I don't work Mon or Tues) saying he needed to meet with me urgently and it could not wait until later. He came round to my house and as soon as I let him in I could tell something was wrong. Then he handed me a letter stating that I am at 'risk of redundancy'. Fab. So 2 weeks ago I became a single mum and now I'm probably going to be an unemployed single mum. I have a consultation on Friday however, I will find out at the end of July whether I have a job or not. People keep saying "you will be ok, the government will pay your rent etc"... I spent many years moaning about people who sit at home and don't even try to get a job, I don't want to become one if I don't have to. Others say I have been there for 5 years so will get a good pay out, erm... not really no as SRP is 0.5 weeks per year until I was 22 and 1 week per year thereafter, meaning I would be offered an amazing 3.5 weeks pay - that will barely cover my rent, let alone anything else.
Just when you think, maybe it can't get much worse I got a message on facebook from a guy asking about Adam as he is now seeing his ex and was pissed off. Well darling, thanks for dumping Adam in it as I didn't know he was seeing someone else, Adam soon confessed. I felt shit. I still feel shit. But if it took you a whopping 2 weeks to get over me, you obviously weren't worth it anyway.
I thought rock bottom was close by, seems things keep creeping up to remind me I am not that low yet. I just wonder when I am going to get there as I really could do with coming back up soon. I have to take Nytol to sleep at night, I have to take stress tablets to keep anxiety down during the day. At what point can I just get on with MY normal life ?!
Have you ever watched Finding Nemo? "Just keep swimming!"
ReplyDeleteTake this as the new "normal" and make sure you keep busy. Get a babysitter for the night and go out with your friends (June 29th - hint hint!) Join a dating website!
Embrace it xx