Well I warn you now, this post is going to be a bit of whinging but also a bit of happiness. I'll start with the whinging as I need to let it out...
Whinge 1 - Weight... Made a silly mistake of getting on the scales tonight. You know when you think, "oh it's just gonna be a couple of lbs"...well it was a lot more than I was expecting. Bummer. Starting a new thing called Thinking Slimmer, which is basically a 10min recording (almost hypnosis/meditation) you listen to every night before sleep and it alters your subconscious decisions about food. I have tried WW, SW, you name it. I don't have time to exercise (see Whinge 2) so that doesn't help. Gonna try this TS and see how I get on over 3 weeks.
Whinge 2 - Arsehole. Yep, you guessed it - His Royal Twatness. Firstly upset me by telling me he is going to Magaluf with 'her' in July (don't even kow why that upset me). Then when I asked him to babysit for 1 hour on a Mon or Wed he calls me and moans about I'm changing days again. Errr, firstly HE IS YOUR FUCKING CHILD TOO. You should want to spend time with him not moan that I'm messing up your social life. My social life is a 24 hour period in a week, you lose out on 24 hours of your social life a week... how is that fair? How can I move on / get a new boyfriend / go out with my mates if I only get 24 hours a week, of which I'd need to sleep for at least 7 of them? Knob.
Whinge 3 - Other Men. I had a date planned for Saturday (yes I know, check me out!) night. We text each other loads, got on really well then Tuesday night he text me telling me he was going into a meeting and wouldn't be out til about 10pm. I replied 'ok babe', didn't want to say speak soon incase I fell asleep (i'm good at that). Got a text at 23.10 - Hey, u up? I replied in the morning apologising as had fallen asleep and how did the meeting go. No reply. I text again at 4pm 'u ok?'. No reply. So I then text something along the lines of 'is everything ok, little worried as normally hear from u but haven't, just hope ur ok and speak soon'. No reply. I mean for god's sake, if you're not interested - don't agree a bloody date!! If you realise after so many days, you found someone better or whatever, at least have the decency to say you're sorry but you don't want to carry on. That would go down fine with me, I like honesty. Anyway, he has til 3pm tomorrow to text me and then I'm deleting his number and getting over it.
I cried earlier. I cried so much my heart ached and my eyes stung. Haven't done that in a while. Still feel on edge, but feeling much better. Hoping tonight will be better than last and I get some decent sleep.
Anyway ... enough whinging
Happiness - My friends and family. I don't really need to elaborate. One thing I will elaborate on is this - I have one of the best friend's you can ask for. She text me earlier, tomorrow her and 2 of our friends (that I haven't seen for AGES) are going to come to mine, cook dinner and have a proper girlie night whilst James is in bed. How thoughtful is that?! Bless her. I absolutely love my friends and family, they have stood by me and helped me through so much. I also want to say thanks to a certain someone for lending me some cash today - was greatly appreciated :)
So there you go, a bit of up and down for you. I feel up and down. Somedays good, somedays not so. I can put on a very brave face but please don't worry about asking me if I am ok. If you want to ask and you genuinely care, I will answer you honestly.
