I Am Still An Open Wound But I Will Heal

So this is how my life is going to be from now onwards, a single mum with the love of my life (my son obviously!) and our dog.

I don't need anyone else, I am far more independant than anyone thinks and would be quite happy never to have another relationship. Although that would get rather lonely...

Everyone says there's plenty more fish in the sea and I should get on dating websites and go out and meet people, I am not ready for that yet.

The one thing that does really rack me off is when people call Adam. I know what has happened, I am not stupid. Yes it is his loss and one day he will realise it when it is too late. But please, do not call him and moan about him to me. At the end of the day, I was planning my wedding with this guy, I was planning on spending the rest of my life with my little family and becoming Mrs Ward. I know that he has left me and is now happy with 'her' and good luck to him, she will never give him what I gave him and he will one day realise that.

I am such an open person and believe that everything happens for a reason. Adam and I were obviously not meant to be and I am ok with that.

Please, please, realise that I am still an open wound. Every word said against Adam or about his new..erm... i'll be nice.. 'girlfriend' is like rubbing acid into me. You might as well be pouring vinegar into the deep cuts that I have and rubbing it in. Adam is the only one that does not do this, it hurts to see him but I have to see him as we have a beautiful son together. He never speaks of her, he never talks to me like I have cancer and he just treats me like a normal human being that is going through a rough patch. I wish everyone treated me like this. Just because I am strong on the outside does not mean I am strong on the inside, I am VERY good at putting on a brave face. I don't like to show my true emotions, that's just the way I was built. Slagging her off doesn't make it any easier either, neither does telling me that I am a million times better than her - it just mentions the one thing I don't want to hear about.

Time is the biggest healer apparently and with every waking day it seems to get slightly easier. I will heal and move on in time but please be patient with me, it won't take me 2 weeks to get over what has happened however I will one day get on with my life and become the Rachael we all used to know and love.