According to the dictionary a "friend" is a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis.
Now since my break up I have found out what a real "friend" is. I have many acquaintances but not many friends. People I have known for years, have they even bothered to send a text? No. Or even message me over facebook? No. Well they were "friends" worth having!
Worse than the above mentioned so called friends are the ones that get in contact purely for gossip purposes. My business is my f*cking business and if I want someone to know, I will tell them. I hate people saying things like "well such and such told me Adam said this and that, is it true". The you answer them thinking they actally might care, then that answer gets all round Nottingham before you know it! Thanks for that "friend".
I have narrowed it down to about 5 proper friends. These people text or call me at least once a day to see if I'm ok and what I'm upto. Some call a little more (which can get annoying but I am grateful they care). Some I don't speak to as much such as Roz, but I know that if I needed her...she would be there. These are the people, the Friends I need around me right now and although I only have a handful, I am grateful for each and every one of them.
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Sunday, 8 May 2011
There's A First For Everything
Well, I can honestly say I have never done this before... I have heard good things and bad things about blogging but thought I would try it myself to get me through my hard time.
Firstly, a little about me. My name is Rachael, I am 24 years old and have a beautiful son called James who will be 2 in August. We live in Nottingham with our dog, Storm.
Now, let's get to the point.
I became a single mum on Wednesday. My partner of 3 and a half years decided that I had changed after giving birth to our son and after several arguments, he decided enough was enough. He left on good terms and this is not a blog for me to sit here and slag him off. He was a good dad, it is just a shame our relationship was obviously not strong enough to cope with the strain of a child.
I can't figure out what is worse, becoming a single mum and having ALL the responsibilties or that I was planning our wedding for 30th July 2012 and now have to beg for deposits and any monies paid to be returned. In fact, becoming a single mum is definately worse... although the other is far more embarrassing.
I feel on such an emotional rollercoaster, I have cried about 6 times... but each time will last a matter of seconds before I compose myself. I cannot seem to let myself go and let it all out (which is proably what I need). After 4 and a half years of quitting smoking, I am now back on them again - they seem to take the edge off the pain. Empty is probably the best word to describe me at the moment.
I hope this blogging works and helps me to let out my emotions so I can try and be a good mum without being an emotional wreck. My son needs me and I need him.
I have some good friends around me and I guess that is what is important at the end of the day. So I raise a glass of nice chilled Jacques and say "Cheers, Welcome To Single Motherhood..."
Firstly, a little about me. My name is Rachael, I am 24 years old and have a beautiful son called James who will be 2 in August. We live in Nottingham with our dog, Storm.
Now, let's get to the point.
I became a single mum on Wednesday. My partner of 3 and a half years decided that I had changed after giving birth to our son and after several arguments, he decided enough was enough. He left on good terms and this is not a blog for me to sit here and slag him off. He was a good dad, it is just a shame our relationship was obviously not strong enough to cope with the strain of a child.
I can't figure out what is worse, becoming a single mum and having ALL the responsibilties or that I was planning our wedding for 30th July 2012 and now have to beg for deposits and any monies paid to be returned. In fact, becoming a single mum is definately worse... although the other is far more embarrassing.
I feel on such an emotional rollercoaster, I have cried about 6 times... but each time will last a matter of seconds before I compose myself. I cannot seem to let myself go and let it all out (which is proably what I need). After 4 and a half years of quitting smoking, I am now back on them again - they seem to take the edge off the pain. Empty is probably the best word to describe me at the moment.
I hope this blogging works and helps me to let out my emotions so I can try and be a good mum without being an emotional wreck. My son needs me and I need him.
I have some good friends around me and I guess that is what is important at the end of the day. So I raise a glass of nice chilled Jacques and say "Cheers, Welcome To Single Motherhood..."
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